Not Weak
by Creepy Mae West Kozi
Summary: I wanted to write a scary Simon. Question: What does a surgeon do when working with an underground terrorist sect? Scary things, that's what.
1. Chapter 1

**Preface:**

I wanted to write a scary bamf!Simon and the idea came to me that the things he may have done with the underground may have been on the darker side of things. He's undisputedly a medical and surgical genius, and the damage he could inflict on a person were he so inclined can be frightening to think about. So here we have an AU scenario where Simon Tam was a torturer and interrogator for the Underground before his sister could be rescued, and this shady chapter of his past is brought into the open when the crew of Serenity of encounters a face from Simon's dark past...

**CAPTAIN **Malcolm Reynolds liked to think that not all of clients turned out to be the scum of the 'verse, but as his luck had been turning out lately, it seemed that scum was the only way to get paying jobs lined up. However there was always a risk when dealing with scum, and that was when the greater percentage would attempt a double cross or try to skimp on pay. These situations, while undesired, and often unpleasant, could usually be dealt with well enough.

It wasn't until the members of his crew became imperiled that Mal would have doubts. And he was having some now.

The cargo had been secured, and payment had changed hands. And then, in the scuffle that had followed - "Why does it never go smooth?" - their adorable mechanic had been taken by the opposing force, and the man they had obtained in retaliation was proving immune to their usual interrogation tactics. Apparently the man backing the operation was scarier than Jayne, Mal, or Zoë either one on one, or in a combination.

And time was running out.

A thought occurred to him - perhaps the ship's resident rich boy doctor had some sort of compound on hand that could loosen their prisoner's tongue. While he would normally be reluctant to put the good doctor into a possibly violent situation, sometimes there were more important things than Core-bred sensibilities. And he was sure that Simon would agree that Kaylee was one of them.

...

It wasn't the first time that Doctor Simon Tam had been asked to perform an interrogation, but it was the first time he had been given such a task since his time with the Underground. It was also the first time he had been asked to do so with medication. Glancing at the captain out of the corner of his eye as he loaded up a tray with various vials and sterile syringes and scalpels - some of which may act as a sort of truth serum in high dosages - Simon asked, "do we at least have this guy's name?"

The captain grunted a reply, arms crossed as he led the way out of the infirmary to the cargo bay, Simon following closely behind. "His name is Dawson Richards. That's all we got a'fore he clammed right up."

Unseen to Malcom Reynolds the surgeon's head snapped up. This would be easier than he thought.

...

Richards was not a brave man. But in the past he had worked alongside the underground movement on Osiris as a cleaner for their interrogator. And these people, while on any other person their threats and posturing would have a grown man spilling his guts in seconds, paled in comparison to the sheer ruthlessness and gore he had cleaned after in the past. And while he normally wouldn't stick his neck out in such a situation, his current employer had a long political arm. With his large funds, and on the event of his survival he did not want this arm reaching after him.

Footsteps sounded above him on the catwalk overlooking the cargo bay. From where he had been chained to some metal supports he could make out the ship's captain bringing down someone else to take a crack at him. He grit his teeth. Even if he had seen far worse, being beat on was never pleasant.

And then the second man stepped out from behind Reynolds and he felt his blood drain from his face.

"_Gorram _it! It's you!"

His worst nightmare stood before him in white doctor's scrubs a deceptively bland expression settled on his face. He set down a metal tray on a crate just beyond Richards' reach, and the thug felt himself start to hyperventilate as he caught the winking of the overhead lights on a collection of needles and scalpels.

He was vaguely aware of captain Reynolds giving the doctor a puzzled look, and relaxed marginally. The crew didn't bring out Simon Tam to torture him...they didn't _know_ about the shark in their midst.

The doctor stepped forward and crouched down so that they could see eye to eye. "Dawson," he began, and if that voice didn't give him chills, sending back to the bloody past...

"The girl that was taken, I might be a little bit in love with her."

Oh _shit_. If there was thing he was even more afraid of than the frightening Doctor Tam, it was an angry Doctor Tam.

"Help me out, would you?"

He stayed silent for naught but a moment as the doctor straightened and retrieved a syringe from the tray and a cotton swab. He gripped Richards arm in strong, cool fingers and began swiping over an area in his inner arm. His breathing grew harsh and shallow as the tip of the needle was brought to rest against his skin.

Dawson Richards bit down on his lip hard enough to draw blood in order to keep his mouth shut. However his remaining resolve was destroyed utterly upon the next sentence Simon Tam spoke.

"Brings back old times."

He turned to the captain and opened his bloodied mouth. "I'll talk, I'll talk! Just keep him away from me!"

...

Simon finished looking over Kaylee, turning to the crew with a small smile as he announced her clean bill of health. He watched, content, as she gave him one her brilliant smiles and dashed off to commiserate with Inara. Slowly, the others drained out of the infirmary as he began to tidy up until he heard the door close firmly behind them.

"I suppose now is the time for an explanation."

From behind Malcolm Reynolds replied. "You'd be correct. There are many a thing that can put terror in a man as that piece of _go se_ had in him, but I'd like to know how a soft Core-boy medic like yourself got into that category."

Simon steeled himself. Despite knowing that this was coming he was leery about the aftermath of this revelation.

"When I was putting together the plan to rescue River I ended up doing some things for the Underground in order to build a reputation among them. In order for the rescue to go down I needed their contacts and their respect. Just throwing money at them wouldn't be enough to get myself into the position to organize an operation of the scale I was planning. And, well..."

Here he paused, just letting a little of the fear and hopelessness he had felt in those days wash through him as he gazed somberly at Mal.

"What does a surgeon do to contribute to a shady terrorist organization?"

Comprehension seemed to be dawning upon Captain Reynolds, who seemed to look a little green.

"Yes...well suffice to say that Dawson Richards worked with us back then, and was mainly responsible for cleaning up after my..." Simon grimaced, "work."

He couldn't look at Mal, afraid of the disgust and recrimination he was sure he would find there.

He heard footsteps as Mal turned to leave. "It's been said before Doc. You ain't weak."

This wasn't the end of it, but for the first time in a long while Simon felt something like closure.

**Afterward**

So it's official. My headcanon now has Simon as being a former torturer for the Underground. Why, brain, why?


	2. Chapter 2

Simon Tam felt his emotions drain out as he looked at the man before him, a member of the upper echelons of Alliance parliament. A man, that apart from having key information regarding the Underground's next secure target, also had information on the Academy where River was being held.

It was the latter item that interested him the most. He turned to the unconscious prisoner before him and felt his misgivings fall away. His hands, which had previously been shaking with nerves and hesitation, stilled as the strength of his resolve filled him. In his mind he felt the change overcome him, the coping mechanism that made him able to do what he was going today; the man before him had changed categories. To Simon Tam, the government official before him was now simply a resource, a stream of data concealed in a hunk of meat. And it was time to operate.

The prisoner, a man by the name of Sebastian Porter, awoke with a groan, eyes fluttering as he regained consciousness. Taking an inventory of the room he began to panic as he noticed he was strapped down to a type of dentist's chair and that his limbs were unresponsive. Some movement to his left drew his attention and he visibly calmed at the sight of the familiar face of Gabriel Tam's son.

"Simon, my boy. Did something happen? Am I in a hospital?"

Simon looked up from where he was pulling on a fresh pair of latex gloves. "No."

Their eyes met, and Porter shivered though the room was warm at the emptiness that looked back at him.

Doctor Tam stepped close, looming over him as he prepared an intravenous drip. "I have some questions that you will be answering for me," he intoned.

As he started to swab Porter's inner arm he explained the purpose of the iv before inserting the needle with a dispassionate demeanor. "This here will keep you awake and focused while we...chat."

Now entering the realm of panic once more, Porter experienced a growing sense of pure terror with the question that followed.

"You know where my sister is being kept. And you _will_ tell me, _dong ma_?"

….

Dawson Richards shivered as Doctor Tam brushed past him. Tentatively he entered the room where the prisoner was being kept to begin the cleanup he had been assigned. Upon registering the contents of the room he bolted back out again gagging and shaking in fear and revulsion.

The victim had been strapped to the chair in the centre of the room, facial expression frozen in a rictus of pain, gore and blood spattered across his arms and torso, a pool off blood saturating the floor.

A whimper sounded from the room and Dawson choked on his own spit. The victim was still alive.

"P-please," a breathy sob. "Let me die?"


End file.
